Curiosity Beats Confidence

By Amy Barr with The Lukeion Project

Is it true that there’s no such thing as a dumb question? Of course there are dumb questions. As a teacher I can guarantee that I’ve heard a few. You know what happened after somebody asked a dumb question? They got an answer and a better understanding of something that confused them. Life went on and and the whole world kept spinning. Everyone else went about their day not even thinking one moment about somebody else’s dumb question. Why do we worry?

There are plenty of dumb questions to be asked in a lifetime so stop worrying about the “quality” of the ones you have to ask. There will always be somebody who knows “better” than to ask that thing. There will always be somebody else who truly needs to hear the answer as well… but was too embarrassed to ask. Rather than appraising the quality of your queries while your opportunity disappears, let’s change how we look at the practice of asking questions. Being curious in a world of silent people is a superpower. 

Curiosity is the best predictor of success in education, relationships, and life. This is the secret that most people miss. Curious question-askers succeed to a far greater degree in almost every kind of challenge! Once you get rid of that anxious twinge you feel before asking questions, you will begin to advance.

Educators appreciate question-asking students because they are engaged and focused on the topic. Ask any educator the difference between a good class and a “bad” class. They’ll usually rate how engaged their students are during class time. Even one curious question-answer changes everything! I once had a student in my history class who was absolutely silent during every session. I was shocked to hear from his mother at the end that he loved the class. Silent students give the impression that they don’t care. If two students get an A+ in the same class ask for college recommendations, the one that asked more questions will get a better letter every time.

Humans love question-asking friends because such people are interested in others rather than in just themselves. Employers, co-workers, and employees love question-askers because a habit of voiced curiosity saves time, money, and energy for the whole company. Curiosity might have “killed the cat” but it builds human cooperation and community better than anything.   

When I first took Classical Greek in college, I worked hard to keep up with vocabulary, grammar, and forms. I was certain that if I kept quiet and kept working, it would all sort out in the end while I kept the appearance of somebody who is competent. Meanwhile one of my peers asked a zillion questions during the same classes where I sat silently. The exchange between this student and our professor helped everyone because he just didn’t care if his questions were dumb when he wanted to know the answer. Captain Question’s understanding of Greek advanced more rapidly than the rest of us. His relationship with the professor went from “that kid” that knew nothing at the start, to the professor’s colleague in language studies. Questions became an informed conversation about a shared interest.

Lesson learned! One person’s curiosity (and willingness to “look” dumb) sure did beat my approach. Trying to seem confident by not asking questions backfired and failed. I became a question-asker from then on.

Trying to appear confident is the best way to never feel confident. For appearance' sake, we don’t ask a fraction of the questions that we should ask as we mature. Certainly, one must read and listen to any instructions given. I’m not advocating skipping basic essentials. But there will nearly always be a gap in our understanding of anything that is new and even a little complex. Most humans would rather wing it to prevent giving anyone else the impression they don’t understand something they think must be a simple matter. They make that presumption based on the fact that nobody else is asking any questions. “I must be the only one that doesn’t get it,” is the start of various disaster scenarios.

Everyone silently trying to look confident and competent means your educator moves on to the next topic. A quick “dumb” question might save you—and everyone else—hours of confusion in an academic situation. A dumb question or two might also save relationships, jobs, and careers.

Part of becoming a successful mature adult is overcoming the desire to “seem” cool, confident, or knowledgeable at all costs because those costs become sizable before we know we are in debt.

If you consider how much asking questions can eventually make you really competent at things, you’ll understand the true meaning of the old saying, “there’s no such thing as a dumb question.” In the end, all you really risk by asking to understand something better is getting better at understanding.

Stay curious. Don’t stay silent.