Passive vs. Active Approach to Building a Life
By Amy Barr with The Lukeion Project
Most of us begin well before we know we are playing and, mid-game, are expected to excel before fighting the “final boss” graduation. Many decide to endure bonus rounds with apprenticeships, college, internships, or graduate school.
Some of us love this educational process and rally around the various challenges and opportunities! Some of us look at the future and despair. So many variables! So much work! It is easy to become prematurely weary about all the demands and expectations.
Students come to love the game of education more when they are given directions and have relative control over their goals. On a scale ranging from a rigid education (like a boarding school) to a fluid education (like unschooling), any approach that gives the student increasing autonomy and self-determination works best to bolster focus and optimism for the future. A student who has room to make choices about classes and topics will enjoy more opportunities to try things they might want to do for a living before they pay for college. Students who had a rigid earlier education will struggle to know what interests them enough to study further. Though most eventually find their path, they might change majors and careers many times since they delayed the process of test running new things until they became an adult.
When framing goals, start by exploring your general interests to see if they mesh with any realistic goals. You don’t need years in botany, medicine, or art to know that those things light your fire.
Depending on your life experiences, you may wish to continue what you already enjoy (art, music, writing, science, sports). This first tricky step is where many of us stall out. It is FAR more normal to have no idea what we want to be “when we grow up” until we are really pushed to make some type of decision. Over-thinkers worry they won’t be good enough at something they like to do, or they have concerns that their choices are unattainable, or that others won’t agree that their chosen path is worthwhile or realistic.
Instead of pushing non-stop over top academic marks and taking impressive academic courses that aren’t particularly interesting to you, be intentional about trying classes (or camps or workshops or programs) on topics that interest you. At all stages of our education, diversions from the programmed educational path are called electives, classes we picked “just” because we liked the subject. I can’t imagine a better topic to pursue than one we enjoy. How many geniuses would have remained anonymously unimportant if they’d rigidly stuck to the regular program?
There’s a lot to navigate before you might be willing to talk about your educational path with others. Some students don’t enjoy much choice. Perhaps family expectations make it clear where you’ll end up. Maybe your family boasts several generations of engineers or maybe everyone graduated from the same school. Perhaps a family business dictates where you’ll work once you graduate. Sometimes what you enjoy plays no role in what you must do educationally.
I had a friend in college who was happily finishing a degree in information technology when his mother insisted that he apply to medical school. Though he had no interest in medicine, she was willing to cut off all communication if he didn’t choose a medical path. On the other hand, I’ve known many who receive no guidance at all. Families can be a bit tricky to navigate.
Once you explore your goals, run your ideas past the most dependable people you know. Some public and private schools have guidance counselors when dependable people are in short supply, but I recommend you find somebody who knows you well and will be honest with you. Perhaps you see yourself becoming an online influencer but the person who knows you best might suggest a path that gives you multiple options. Getting a background in public speaking, marketing, journalism, and even graphic design would foster such interests without giving you too narrow a goal. Don’t despair if your objectives remain elusive. Sometimes your “aha!” moment arrives serendipitously. Observe yourself when you get excited about a particular subject or skill. Do more of that and see how things shape up.
Once you envision a path, take an active approach to your education from that moment on. Most of us, for very practical reasons, are very passive about our education until, one day, we want to take the steering wheel. Whatever you like to do, work diligently at being the best at it and you’ll never lack opportunities.
